"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

 

"To alcohol; the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

 

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Benjamin Franklin

 

"Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol."

 

"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?"

 

"Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!" - Homer Simpson

 

"When we drink we get drunk.  When we get drunk we fall asleep.  When we fall asleep we commit no sin.  When we commit no sin we go to Heaven.  Sooo let's all get drunk and go to Heaven!"

 

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."

 

"Everybody should believe in something.  I believe I'll have another drink!"

 

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed.  Then, I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams.  If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.  Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true, than be selfish and worry about my liver." - Jack Handey

 

"Don't you ever wanna just take a shot?  It's like a manly thing to do.  Just like fuckin take a shot!" - guy in Real Cancun movie

 

"I came here to do two things: Drink some beer, and kick some ass!  And it looks like we're almost outta beer." - guy in Dazed and Confused

 

"Twisted Tea fucked me up!" - Steven P. Reese, senior week

 

"If you drink like I drink it just does ya wrooooonnngggg!" - Mark Mullelly, senior week